Molding

Seven years worth of half-spent candles fill a bowl to overflowing. Seven winters of occasional warmly-lit dinners; seven advents spent; seven years of occasional electric-less evenings. Candles don't last long here, soon growing gray and dirty - long before they can be used up.

Today, it was time for the red candles to find new life. Red brings great joy to this mommy, so fully half of these old pillars are red. A cutting board and large knife soon reduce the pile to small, ugly chunks. A large old can, a heavy sauce pot, and two or three damp matches are applied to the task, and before long, pieces soften and smooth into a deep red gloss.

Little hands and eyes crowd, eager to see this process. Questions fill the air. String cut and tied to pencils - the dipping begins.
Slowly, 5 small lives (3 homegrown, 2 borrowed) turn bare string into small tapers, ready to be put into service. They will give only a small light, and will burn for but a few moments, but there has been joy in the forming of them.

An hour or two of my time went into candle-molding today; an hour or two of me, invested in child-molding at the same time. This is what it is, parenting: moments gathered together or scattered around, events shared, lessons learned.

With each moment, another layer of wax is added to the candle.

With each moment, another layer of being is added to the child.

The hand holding the candle must be steady, attentive, mindful of the wax and the water - lest the candle become crooked and unusable.

The heart guiding the child must likewise be steady, attentive, and mindful of His Heart - for the child is His child first.

Three small candles, newly formed, are prized in this home tonight.

Three small lives, forming, are prized in heaven tonight. How brightly they will burn and for how long, is know only to Him who formed them.

Use me to mold them well, through your grace and for your service, Father.

On His Birthday . . .

To My Dear and Loving Husband

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more then whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompence.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

Anne Bradstreet

Blessings on you today, dearest, while we are apart.

Another month

. . . has passed since I last posted. Many times I have had ideas, observations, thoughts that I wanted to write, but have found myself too busy, or too tired, or too sick, or too something! But today brought blessings too wonderful NOT to write about!

Of course, today is Sunday. That alone is a blessing. A day to rest, a day to worship. For me, it was extra special, as it was my first opportunity to attend our home church since we came back to the US. The rest of the family went last week, while I nursed a nasty sinus infection in bed.

But the most amazing part of today, so far, has been the surprise we woke up to: SNOW!!! Of our 3 children, only The Scholar has even seen snow, and he was only 1 at the time. The 4-5 inches we got was enough to scuff around in, shovel (what joy!) and even sled on. We enjoyed racing down the hill, sometimes more gracefully than others, and landing in the soft snow at the end of the run. We watched our children's wonder as they observed how the snow fell and balanced in strange ways. We laughed with them at the feel of snow, its taste, and the way it chilled them when it worked its way in around their cuffs.I nearly cried over Princess Grace's reaction to the first snow she has ever seen. When I asked what she thought of the snow, she just hugged my leg, rested her head on me, and smiled: too enraptured for words.

What (on earth) could be better than this?

Around the world

It has been a month since I posted. A crazy, travel filled, stress-laden month. A last-minute trip to a neighboring Asian country, continued on to another country. A quick return home to pack up and move out of half of our home. Then the final, big journey, halfway around the world, across 14 time zones, to our "home country" for 3 months of leave.

What a month. We traveled on 2 trains, 6 airplanes, countless taxis and occasional subways. Not to mention 30 + hours in the car. Our children have slept in no fewer than 10 places in the past month, not counting airplanes.

In all of this time, we have visited one emergency room, 2 Sunday Schools, and 3 hotels. We have already enjoyed time with 4 grandparents since arriving in the US. God is good. We are together. And we are rejoicing!

A Birthday Dinner

Today I have been cooking. In our house, the birthday dinner menu is generally the choice of the Birthday boy (or girl). Of course, living here, I sometimes have to make adjustments based on what I have on hand or have access to. For instance, vegetables just aren't available right now. For the children this would not be much of an issue, but some of us like vegetables.

Today's menu was based on a more practical theme, however. In less than 4 weeks, we leave for 4 months in the US. So, after an inventory of my freezer and pantry, I planned every meal between now and when we go, with the hope of leaving a minimum of food items in storage here.

Tonight's birthday menu has come together beautifully:

A small pork roast with a cranberry-orange sauce.
Potatoes Au Gratin
Broccoli & Cauliflower - steamed
Apple & Craisin compote

Dessert:
Pineapple cream cheese coffee cake
Homemade vanilla ice cream with toffee bits and mini chocolate chips

The only things I would have liked in addition to the above would have been fresh dinner rolls, but I had to draw the line somewhere!

Now, what is interesting is how this meal came together. Based on my menu calendar, I had chosen the pork roast for today. I noticed a tin of jellied cranberry sauce (left over from last Thanksgiving) while rooting in the pantry the other day for a can of tuna. So, off to the internet to find a recipe that combined these 2 items. Voila! Oh, except I did not have cranberry juice, so I substituted orange juice, freshly squeezed from the Malta oranges that became available last week.

Next came the side dishes. I was hoping for noodles because I LOVE egg noodles with pork. But, making homemade noodles was too much to do today. So, on to plan "B" - potatoes. I dug out bits of 3 different cheeses from the depths of the fridge, all rather desperate to be cooked with, so Au Gratin was the logical choice. Vegetable was easy. Either it came from the freezer or there was not going to be any vegetable. I am out of canned veggies except 1 can of peas that is earmarked for a tuna noodle casserole later this month. The freezer yielded some broccoli & cauliflower. Finally, we just bought apples again for the first time since I can't remember when. Sadly, they were too mushy to be nice to eat. So, they had to be cooked. Add in an open packet of dried cranberries (Craisins), some sugar and cinnamon, and the extra orange juice, and we have a nice compote.

Dessert was even more interesting. A can of local pineapple needed to be used. Cans are notoriously poor around here, so it definitely wouldn't last too long. And then, there was the cheese. Yesterday, DH tried to make ice cream. But when he heated the milk with the sugar in it, it curdled, indicating that the milk was no longer as fresh as it had once been. Our milk is delivered to the door every day, still warm and usually with cow hair floating in it. We boil it and refrigerate it, but it does not keep too long. I couldn't see wasting all of that milk and sugar, so I drained it through cheese cloth and had a wonderful, pre-sweetened soft cheese. The need to use this up before it spoiled pushed me to look for a recipe that would use both the pineapple and the cheese. In the end I chose a recipe that I made once before. Of course, that meant some substitutions also. Sour milk for sour cream, pineapple for apples, my cheese for cream cheese etc. By the way, the ice cream turned out wonderfully on the second try: fresher milk.

And whose birthday was it that was celebrated in this interesting way?

Mine!

Good thing I like to cook!

On Songs of Praise

For years the debate has raged: Hymns or Praise Choruses? Thankfully, many churches have found a balance, worshiping God in a variety of ways that a variety of people can relate to. I am also grateful for the reality checks that have come from various places reminding us that worship is about God, not about musical style, yet I recognize that some people simply find it easier to worship through a particular style.

Mrs. Wilt at The Sparrow's Nest posted a wonderful tongue in cheek look at hymns and praise choruses here.

There is some truth inside the joke, however. Praise choruses do tend to be repetitive. Hymns, at least the older ones, do tend to use more archaic, poetic language. But I believe that there is value in both for several reasons.

First, many hymns contain an amazing depth of spiritual truth and insight. I personally have found great encouragement from hymns such as I Take Thy Promise, Lord; When I Survey; Holy, Holy, Holy; Be Still My Soul; Hiding in Thee; and Great is Thy Faithfulness. There is a richness in these and many other hymns that pulls my heart and mind toward God as I sing them or meditate on their words.

At the same time, I love to sing praise choruses. Many of them highlight the intimacy that we as believers can have with Christ. They remind us that we can come before Him with our praises and our needs. I also have noticed that in the past 5-10 years many songwriters have recognized the danger of worship time becoming entertainment time. More and more new songs have become modern hymns, incorporating the best of hymn-like theology with more modern tunes and arrangements. We Fall Down, Indescribable, and Ancient Words are good examples.

Thinking again about how we teach our children about worship,I find both types of songs to be helpful. We are currently learning the hymn When I Survey as a family. We talk through the lyrics and what they mean and how they teach us about Jesus. Where there are references to specific Bible passages, we may look them up. Then we practice the hymn. I am trying to keep it in my head so that I can hum or sing it at odd times. Hopefully that will help it stick better in everyone's minds. To me, this is both an academic exercise and a way to help us worship with our minds.

With praise choruses, I tend to sing along as they play on the CD player. I want my children to see me worship from my heart.

Nothing I've written is particularly ground-breaking, but I hope that my love of all kinds of worship music will help my children to see that worship needs to involve the head and the heart.

Among the Chaos

I am sitting at the too-high desk in the not-very-clean guest house, making corrections to a project proposal document for Bob. Around me are several stacks of DVDs awaiting checking for quality; half-a-dozen books I have picked up that I would like to read; 5 varied plastic cups and a pitcher of lukewarm water; laundry in various stages of dirty, clean, wet, wrinkled; a roll of toilet paper doubling as Kleenex; an empty diet Pepsi bottle (thanks, Bob); piles of schoolbooks - some open, some closed, some currently being written in; crayons everywhere; a pile of phonics flashcards strewn on the floor; various shopping bags containing groceries, books, and winter clothes; at least 7 pairs of shoes; suitcases and backpacks of various sizes and descriptions; countless matchbox cars; an open packet of laundry soap; and 3 children in various stages of falling off the bed where they are supposed to be working on schoolwork. All of this in a room that is no bigger than 10 x 12.

Isn't life beautiful?

Beautiful Things

An amazing pink and purple sunset, glimpsed between buildings and buses in an otherwise ugly city.

Kisses from the sweetest daughter on earth.

A husband who showers his wife with love.

Praise the Savior!

Grace in the Moment

Today, I've been noticing hair. I cut all the hair in our family that gets cut. Princess Grace is still awaiting her first trim, and my husband trims the split ends off my hair once or twice a year. But Bob and the boys all visit Sheri's Hair Salon - a.k.a. a chair, scissors and a trimmer in the living room with the carpet rolled back. Pop in a video for the littles and we are on our way.

Since before we were married, I have cut my husband's hair. At first, it was with great trepidation as I did not come from a home-hair cutting family. But after many years, it is routine. While the boys are squirmier, even cutting their hair is no problem these days.

But today, I was looking at Scholar's recently trimmed head and it reminded me that I needed to give the younger son the same attention: Boy Wonder had been busy playing and his golden locks were sweaty and looking wild. A glance at my husband told me that he is only about a week away from another session in the "itchy chair."

Suddenly, in the midst of my practicality, God broke in. The haircut status monitor faded away as I looked, really looked at the beautiful heads that God has placed in my life to care for. Such a small thing - to cut hair for my family - yet how significant that I have them to minister to in this simple way. And how grateful I am for the privilege.

One of the things that is most difficult for me is finding the grace in each moment. The moments whirl away like dust in a wind, but the beauty, the blessing is still there. I just have to stop being practical long enough to see it.

Busyness

It is amazing to me how busy life can get sometimes. I worked full time outside the house last week. That is more than rare for me lately. It was an interesting, exhausting week. So Friday came (our Sunday) and I rested, spent time with the family, had church, and so on. Today was spent catching up on clutter and getting organized for the next week of home school. How, in a whole week I wasn't able to blog once is beyond me. Well, I guess having a terrible internet connection for the week also contributed.

Sometimes I look back and wonder where the 13 years since my wedding have gone. How is my oldest nearly 8? How is my baby 3 already? I know that we all feel that way at times, but it seems stronger to me this time. Like busyness itself is a disease that keeps us from living our lives in a meaningful way.

We have some friends who married (each other) in midlife. It was the first marriage for both or them. They have a different life from ours - no children - and they have a few more years of experience on us. What I find interesting, though, is that though they are astonishingly busy, they live life deliberately. They make choices about family, friends, even about their home decor that show that they are living their lives deliberately - and not for selfish reasons, but for the glory of God.

I usually feel as if I'm standing in the middle of a tornado and everything is whirling around me. I am not sure how to make conscious choices that model Christ when I find it difficult to have time to rub two thoughts together. Yet, this is the role God has given me. So His answers must be available. I just have to keep looking, and that is a large part of what my blogging is about.

Sherilyn